I won't post her name, because I never want her to know about the way in which she was conceived. I never want her to be embarrassed or ashamed in anyway. She is such a darling girl. Pretty and smart as a whip. This is her story...
When I was pregnant with ILM, I asked my sister in law's sister, (who I will call Sue, to protect her privacy), if she would support me while I was pregnant and her and her husband to adopt my baby. They said yes and were delighted. Sue and her husband were really cool people. They didn't force religion on me and they just kind of accepted me for who I was. It was refreshing. I am not sure how many months I stayed there or when exactly I left, but at some point I decided that I wanted to try to raise my baby.
I left one day while they were gone without saying a word. I didn't know how to tell them, they were such good people, and I knew it was going to crush them. I gave birth to ILM on April 24, 2006. She was the apple of my eye. No one was getting this baby, she was mine and I was hers. She was such a good baby. I had re connected with an old boyfriend I had when I attended Vo-Tech. He said he was coming home for a break from college and wanted to hang out with me. I told him I just had a baby and that she goes everywhere I go. He agreed and told me he knew I had a baby, but he was thinking of my son. I said no silly, I had a baby 3 days ago. As it turned out, he fell in love with her and I. He refused to go back to college, even after I begged and pleaded with him to go. He must have just wanted a family as much as I did. So, he stayed. Eventually, we moved in with a friend of mine and I began working at the local portrait studio. He was a stay at home dad. He was excellent at it. He had her on a schedule and everything. It was what worked for us.
A little time passed and I had found out we were pregnant. He was excited and I was scared out of my mind. I tried to convince him to adopt her before, but he didn't think he needed to, because in his heart, she was his. A piece of paper didn't need to tell him that. I was afraid he would treat the new baby differently or that his family would.
My parents came and saw me at work and paid for our marriage license and wedding bands and told us when they came back from Florida they wanted us married. So we went to a JP and got married. His grandparents got him a job at the local hardware store and we moved in with them. Everything changed...I "wasn't allowed to work," because his grandmother said. She would follow me around while I was giving ILM baths and tell me I was "a bad mother, because I was getting her ears in the water." Among other snide and nasty comments. I would cry to my husband everyday and beg him that we get our own place. When I would have him almost convinced she would tell him why when we don't have to pay rent etc. I had enough. I left pregnant with our child and with ILM to West Virginia and stayed with my cousin. It was so hard being pregnant and chasing a toddler by myself. My husband wanted me to come home and promised to get a place for us. We ended up staying with my sister in law for a little while until we got our own apartment. Things there still weren't good, because if we would have an argument his grandparents would come and tell me to "listen to my husband." Our marriage was not our marriage anymore. It was over run by his grandmother. Why did she hate me so much? Well she raised my husband, mostly and I was taking her baby away and I "was the reason he didn't go back to college."
Amongst all of this turmoil, a great joy was approaching, I was going to give birth to my 3 child. To read about it, read, "Ashlyn's Story."
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